My Dear Alex

She took a precocious interest in what we've been doing here.  See how the others turned their heads, unanimous and enamored by our works.

What was it that we were trying to learn about each other?  To me, she is funnier, smarter, and more curious than anyone in the world.  I knew that about her for a long time, and I knew that she loves to play.  For a long time I wondered why no one likes to play like we do, but I just wasn't paying attention like she does.  She must have known the others love how we play.

Still, we keep inviting them to share in our warmth, but I suppose we haven't yet shown them how cozy it can be.  I didn't know how warm I could feel until Alex showed me – my sick little addiction.  Now I found out how to sink into it, to feel it envelop me from inside, and all across my skin.

I wanted her to feel the way I feel, even if it makes me feel naked, or even ashamed.  I had a mysterious hunch that she would understand.  I had to show her how she could help, knowing that she would be so deliberate in this feeling with me.

I wanted to see what we would learn about each other if we meant to be honest and even tender, to display ourselves freely and openly.  How she is so beautiful, now you can see this wound of mine that keeps bleeding, and this emptiness that makes me feel ugly.  I hoped she would understand, even if we didn't know what to do with it.

How beautiful this red is in the winter; it's a rich candy apple red that only she could show me.  Warm like the blood that courses through her body, so warm that it can light up the world.

I Love the Way She Looks in VantaBlack