I love computers, design, philosophy, music, and magic, and I have for as long as I can remember. Apple and Steve Jobs really pulled me in as a kid, and it stuck with me forever. I finally felt "Wow, someone is seeing what I'm seeing!", and I became completely preoccupied with learning everything I could about why Apple does things the way they do, and how I could write software and build hardware of my own. I love the idea of computers and design as a true philosophy and art. These are the ways I best know how to relate to others.
I also have Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder, and this creeps into many of my thoughts. It makes me really good at some things, and not so good at others. Many of my fixations are on technology and disease. I find that I am able to identify patterns really well, and make consistent predictions in the world through research and meditation. I also often feel odd, confusing, and lost for words around people. I hope I will someday not feel this way.
My heart aches to know how many people live with the weight of exclusion or hopelessness. I want to help people feel included as often as possible, and I am so sorry to know how much work we still have to go.
I am grateful for my beautiful dog and my faith in Christ to carry me through the day.
I share my thoughts here so that anyone curious can know that they are not alone; I feel that it is my duty. I would like to see a world where people don't feel pressured to write anonymously to have an open and honest discourse on philosophy. The world seems to be improving in this regard, and I am hopeful and optimistic that we are learning to accept each other as we are.
There is little justice or equality of opportunity in feeling isolated or odd. I am grateful to be able to present myself professionally and speak well in front of people, although I know that others may not be able to. I feel your pain, and I am so sorry. So long as you are inclusive to others, you should not have to look or act a certain way to be included. It is not acceptable.
I encourage others to find creative outlets that resonate with them and use those to explore and share how they feel. Whether you like to create things, collect, document, or share, you certainly have a unique voice that you can bring to the world. It can be for everyone, or for no one, as long as it resonates with you.